Your name is SAMUEL HERBERT, but you prefer SAM. Just SAM. You are a sysadmin. You started out the day at your apartment, and now you're here. Wherever "here" is. Or...whenever.
Who knows, you could be in a different time!
But that's foolish. Time travel doesn't exist. Everyone knows that.
You're not one to put up with crap, and ESPECIALLY not the level of crap this is turning out to be. You just want to get to the bottom of this, and get out.